My Gate Preparation Journey.

So, this goes back to 2015, when I had just graduated from my Btech.Well, I had never thought that I’d ever give GATE in my life.At that time, I used to be very fond of Govt. jobs, so idea of GATE seemed very good and motivating to me.I was campus placed in TCS, so having one offer in hand makes you relaxed and So was I.I had ordered Made Easy postal study course during 2015, to take overview of how to start with GATE preparation.In 2015 only I joined TCS, and had started my GATE preparation along with job.So, parallely preparing like this I gave GATE in 2017 and I was disqualified.(25.44 marks).My project was very demanding so I used to get very little time preparing for GATE.So, in 2017 I decided to leave TCS and prepare for GATE full-time. In 2017, I joined Made Easy Delhi and started my preparation in full blow.I was so crazy for GATE that I used to wake up daily at 4AM and study till 10PM in night, including the coaching hours.The class used to be of 6 hours, so whatever was taught there, I made sure I study that from some standard Book and understand it well.Now here comes GATEOVERFLOW and one of the most important part of my GATE preparation,Arjun Sir!!. When, back in 2015 and 2016 I was preparing for GATE, Since I used to struggle with concepts, while searching for answers, I came across this platform GATEOVERFLOW. There I saw many good answers, but one question used to get up in my mind was : Why all such good thinking comes to these people and not me?I mean why I am not able to think upto this level?Here, the advice given by Arjun Sir worked wonders for me.He advised all GATE aspirants to first refer standard book(sometimes take multiple readings), use GATEOVERFLOW for doubt discussion and don’t look answer to a problem untill you have struggled on that problem for days. Then, I used to read a lot, refer video lectures and used to think on problems for sometimes even days and used to work them on so many pages, but that gifted me something.The power to think and recreate!. Then, with this approach, I was getting better in my preparation and I also used to answer the questions on GATEOVERFLOW. Since, I used to prepare all day, most of the time I used to be seated on chair and that took a toll on me. During november end I had severe back pain, so severe that I was unable to even sit for 15 mins straight without feeling the pain.I had a follow up with the doctor, he just advised me to sit less and rest more.But every GATE aspirant knows that the last 3 months(Nov,Dec,Jan) are surely not the time to rest.

Studying then was not challenging for me, but yes giving full length mock was because I could not manage to sit for 3 hours straight without feeling that killing pain.I still remember, I had then given only 4 mocks and before each mock, I used to take a painkiller and then give it and the pain was so strong that even after having that tablet, I could feel a feeble pain in my lower back.

So, time came for GATE 2018 and I took a pain killer on that day so that pain should not come in between my preparation.I secured AIR 713(Marks-53.33).I was clearly not happy with this result as all I wanted is admission to old IIT’s or IISc.That used to be a standard for me.In the same year, I had given interview for ISRO,BARC, and IISC Mtech RA, IIT-H RA but sadly couldn’t make up to any one of them.So, in June 2018 I decided to prepare again for GATE, but this time self preparation as now I was clear with most of the things, just I needed consistent practice. To do away with my persistent back pain, I used to take out time for Yoga daily and fortunately, by the end of September 2018 my back pain was completely gone.

In July 2018, fortunately I got selected in ECIL (Electronics Corporation of India Limited) but then I came to know that PSU are not good for growth and learning. Since, computer science is my all time love, I had to drop this offer.Moreover, there was some bond in this ECIL, which prevented me to join this as backup. I resumed again with my preparation and it was going very well.The first full length test I gave in november 2018, I got 70 marks.Taking advice of my friends who have secured a good rank in GATE and especially Kishalay Das I used to focus less on marks and more on mistakes. So, after each test, I used to note all my mistakes in a notebook, analyse it and I’d see them before the next test so that I don’t repeat them.I was done with my syllabus one more time in November 2018, and plan was to revise all 3 months and give lots and lots of tests so that on final exam, I don’t make any mistake.Regarding study hours, daily I used to study 10-11 hours daily, but hardly did I take time for myself and take a break(That misfired!!). During the time of January, something that used to be inside me for long came out in a fierce way->Anxiety. I used to unnecessary worry a lot and doubt my own self. With each passing day, my mental health degraded and I used to worry more and more, even though in One GO test I secured 83.33 marks and my average test marks were above 70. I was unable to sleep almost since after 15 jan 2019 till Mid March(Full blown panic attack had started). I still remember the day when I had given my GATE 2019 exam.I was not in my senses but the intense pratice I did due to that my Hand and sub-conscious mind worked in co-ordination.After the exam, I thought I wish I could get only 25 marks Please God!!(Anxiety and Depression).Anxiety was so much that I was fearing to even watch my own answer response and calculate my marks.Somehow, I checked and it was 62.33. I was shocked!!. Even after the exam, my health continued to degrade.With each passing day, I had trouble remembering things, driving car/bike.It was a strange feeling I never want to remember again.Initially I didn’t knew what was happening to me, but then I shared this with my mom and dad and they really helped me out. I was now suffering from clinical depression and anxiety.Soon , I was on medication.Now it was March 2019 and GATE result came. This time I got AIR 673. I was still considering myself as a total failure because in my mind I had created an image like old IIT or nothing.This time, my father and mother advised me to look for a good college wherever I can get admission and start ahead. Studying during that time was real pain for me because I was only able to solve upto 4 problems a day(where earlier I used to complete upto 100 problems/day) and I used to have feelings that time that I should kill myself(But I know what was going on).I was not able to sleep, I used to have bad thoughts urggghhh ugly feeling it was!!

I was now in no mood to give any interview, just wanted to take any college and start.But then, I had read a post where it was mentioned that if you get admission into IIIT-H or BITS, then it makes up for the loss of an IIT seat. I had filled the form for both of them.In April 2019, I appeared for IIIT-H written exam.Since I was not well even then, whatever preparation I had done till January, with that I gave that exam.Fortunately, I qualified the written for that. Now in my mind I made up, “Man whatever happened let’s forget.But this IIIT-H thing should not get out of my hand”.

I then again in the morning used to listen to some motivational stuff, feel better and started to prepare for the interview.Yes, initially it was slow, but daily practice was what that instilled confidence in me and that helped me recover faster.Now you see, confidence is not a trait, but something you earn!!. During the day of interview, I was so confident, that I knew I’d make upto this institute.

The interview of IIIT-H went fairly well and I was selected for 2 year Mtech program(CSIS).Now it was June 2019 and Now I was again back to normal and healthy as before.”What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

Moral of the story-Whatever you believe in, just do it.Yes, there will be obstacles, there will be dead ends, but then those will be the moments where you will re-invent yourself.Never doubt yourself, for the universe is packed within you!!

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1 Comment

  1. Thank u sir for sharing’s really helpful also .I have learned many things from you nd the most important is never give up easily .Goodluck for your future life..

    Liked by 1 person

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